Failure
Here we go again… it has been quite some time since I last blogged… to be precise; it has almost been one whole month. YIKES! I feel a bit disappointed in myself. I feel annoyed that I cannot stick to things for more than two weeks. I feel frustration and like there is something wrong with me. How come I cannot complete this goal even with someone alongside to help me?
It is so freaking frustrating to me to know that even with an accountability partner, I am still prone to failing at blogging daily. How am I supposed to accomplish anything?
Part of me has realized that in order for me to diligently stick to something, I have to have a strong desire to not disappoint the person holding me accountable.
For example, my friends always think it is so impressive that no matter how little sleep I get on a Friday night, I still get up at 5:30 a.m. Saturday morning to outrigger canoe. I am sometimes impressed by myself too, but I realize that my determination is due to the fact that if I do not show up, my boat of 6 people will be down to 5 people, and it will be a lot harder of a practice for them. I do not want them to have to struggle, and my people-pleasing side of me, doesn’t want them to think poorly of me.
I guess I am now realizing that sometimes we can use the misaligned parts of us to our advantage. In the last couple of years, I have tried hard not to be a people pleaser, but I also see that my people pleasing helps me to stay accountable to outrigger canoeing. Every part of us does have a purpose and they developed to protect or help us in some way. It is helpful for me to reaffirm this concept through this blogging experience.
That is all for now.
